Conquering an Extended Writing Slump

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. –Ecclesiastes 3:1, ASV

In the winter of 2017, we became instant parents.


A family emergency left us almost no time to decide whether we were “ready.”


It’s been close to two years since I’ve published. Absorbing three kids into a household with virtually no planning time, as we did, inevitably means throwing your schedule out the window.


Something had to give, and in our case, it was my writing time. This was not a healthy thing for me. There is nothing quite so depressing as a creative who cannot create. For my own mental health, I needed to be able to view this tumultuous period for the season that it was, and trust that some day, I would emerge with a correspondingly stronger perspective.


Far from rejuvenating an exhausted writer’s heart, navigating such a creative slump feels more like hiking through a muddy swamp. Every slurping, soul-sucking step of that slog drains your body and threatens to pull you down.


In the days and months immediately following our accidental foray into parenthood, I felt my career tanking. I was forced to back out of a local food column I had just landed, right after publishing the opening piece. I quit working on all of my books-in-progress. I stopped checking my editing e-mail and the lapsed account closed. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when my website crashed and I lost two-thirds of my previous material.


Social media became my social life. Other than chats with my husband, it was the only time of day where I could count on talking to a grownup.


Most of a year went by.


I got pregnant.


Another year passed.


The media, bless them, made sure to keep up my spirits throughout with articles aimed at separating “writers” from “parents.” Women could perhaps write and be mothers, the headlines screamed, but only if they limited themselves to one child. Men, of course, could procreate and parent without career consequence. Somehow, we rarely question a father’s ability to have it all. Mothers, we assume, will give up everything that makes them individual. Someone must think of the children.


The more motherhood demanded of me, the more stifling it felt. I could not stomach the thought of spending the rest of my days endlessly putting goals on the back burner because somebody did something gross yet again and wanted me to clean it up. Patience is not my strong suit.


It turns out that perpetual sleep deprivation is also a killer. Truly, it was not until we started being able to rest again that things slowly began to improve for our household.


The halcyon days of calmly sipping endless bottomless pots of coffee while hunting for the perfect turns of phrase, are, to say the least, far behind me. That same cup usually takes two or three spins through the microwave before I give up and start afresh. Nothing these days gets done without background noise. On a good day, it’s the Paw Patrol theme song. Others, my desperate attempts at concentration will be punctuated by unintelligible exclamations delivered at the top of a preschooler’s lungs, accompanied by what might be the sound of elephants smacking into my living room walls.


But the elephants can keep thumping, because I am not willing to wait another 18 years for my turn. I’m taking it now. Minute by minute, if I have to. My children deserve a happy mom. My husband deserves a happy spouse.


That means making time for the things I love as well as the people.

Wishing you all a blessed 2019.

Kate


P.S. I did manage to wrap 2018 with one clip! Find my latest over at The Syndrome Mag.

A Writer’s Productivity Killer: Social Media

It starts out innocently enough. You’re on the hunt for your next meal. You want to keep tabs on the grandkids. You wish you were more up to speed on the news. You need The Google for researching your assignment. You work all the time and you don’t get out much.

Is the Internet filling that void?

Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Snapchat. You’ve Stumbled Upon the greatest thing since sliced bread: videos of cats accessorizing themselves with sliced bread. You’re YouTubing the vast right-wing (or is it left-wing) conspiracies aimed at thrusting us all into a Brave New World. You’re chasing your rock star dreams, living vicariously through the musicians topping the hottest playlists on Spotify.

What you aren’t doing is writing, creating, designing. You know, that pesky work stuff. And if your Internet addiction has gotten bad enough, you may also be strapping up for carpal tunnel while skipping the showers and sleep. If you’ve progressed to the point of filling adult diapers in order to maintain your butt-shaped print on the sofa and chomping down stray Cheetos like a psychotic bird, professional help is probably called for.

The rest of us have other options. If your days are flying by and you have next to nothing to show for all those hours you spend on the phone or at the computer, it’s time to do something about that little social media problem.

Get out of the house. Are you cooped up in a home office, virtually alone for days on end? Get out. Walk your pets. Take a bike ride. Hit a local coffee shop, buy a drink, and spend an hour or two in a public space. Go to the library.

Join a charity, join a gym, join a club, find a writers’ group. Find something offline to do that keeps you physically or mentally active, at least a few hours each week. The more active you become in your local community, the less heavily you’ll depend on online socialization.

Go for broke. Are you sick of election news and misspelled memes? Sit there and read that stuff. Over and over. Read a few comment forums. Pick nice, irritating ones. Watch previews for trash TV and grieve the decline of modern literary culture. Immerse yourself so deeply in a social media cesspool for a few days that you come up begging for air.

Set a timer. I participate in a ladies’ housekeeping forum on social media (yes, I feel you, irony), and the subject of timers comes up fairly regularly. Set a timer that allows you five minutes of Internet for every half-hour of work time, every 500 words, whatever works for you. Or set a timer for your Internet activity. You’re done for the next hour when it goes off.

If all else fails, you might have to limit your online time. There’s no shortage of news stories and essays in recent years about writers who chose to pull the plug. Whether that means designating a work computer with no Internet access or forgoing Web connectivity entirely,  disconnecting and disengaging from the online world can be one of a writer’s most productive decisions.

How do you control online distractions?
Kate

*This post was originally published in September 2016.*

Breaking Up Writer’s Block: Thunder and Brainstorm

Writers are notoriously secretive. We use fake names. We like to play our cards close to the vest. Fellow writers are competitors as much as potential collaborators. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of every writer’s mind, lies the fear of idea theft. The hack peddling a knockoff version of our literary progeny. The common plagiarist. The blabbermouth partner. We protect our developing work with parental ferocity.

Intellectual property fears aren’t the only reason we hesitate to share. You’ll find plenty of advice telling you to keep your story a secret, with good reason. A few years ago, I shared a piece of writing with someone who had minor connections to an industry I was interested in working for. I got ripped apart and then some.

I wasn’t ready for that level of criticism. Nor was that person qualified to give it. That one bad review–more like a personal attack–not only permanently damaged my longtime friendship with that individual but also ended any serious attempts to break into that field. I was done.

Pursuing a writing career requires the ability to develop a cowhide-thick skin. There is a difference, however, between finding oneself on the un-fun end of a tough critique from an industry expert and being subjected to a nasty dress down by someone who has no idea what he or she is talking about.

Much of the advice about keeping stories under wraps is aimed at protecting writers from those unprovoked attacks by typically well-meaning, occasionally jealous, but always ill-informed friends, relatives, and writing-world acquaintances. A budding story, entrusted to the wrong hands, can be shredded to the point of unrecognizability and shoved into a drawer. Although rescuing the world from one more terrible book could be construed as a public service, damage occurs whenever talented would-be creators are injured.

Yet telling writers they must go it alone until the story is a perfectly polished pearl is equally problematic. Nobody successfully walks the path to publication alone. There are teachers, sources, editors, agents, critics, layout experts, graphic designers, photographers, advertisers, illustrators, promoters, and countless others involved in every publishing medium. You won’t build a prominent writing career by yourself. Why would you expect to craft the Great American Novel (or anything else) without help?

Your novel will come to a screeching halt at some point in your writing process. If it doesn’t, you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. You will find yourself contending with implausible story arcs, confusing characters, boring filler moments. You will question everything, and the temptation to throw it all into the nearest paper shredder, never to be seen again, will be palpably real. Perfectionists, recognize.

There are two things you could do next. You could follow the technique prescribed by NaNoWriMo coaches: Ignore your inner editor and push ahead. Get the words on the page. All systems go. Forget the mess, you’ll clean it up later.

Or, you could recognize that some problems are simpler to fix before you hit revisions. Keep writing, but make notes of the things you need to fix: this character’s behavior, that subplot, those research holes. And never underestimate the power of a good brainstorm session. You don’t have to share your ratty early drafts or adopt anyone else’s changes, but opening a conversation about a specific issue that is giving you pause can send a fresh jolt through your creative process.

Earlier this week, I went into a brainstorm session feeling that my protagonist and a secondary character didn’t go together. The story was morphing into two different books rather than main plot and subplot, and I needed to take back control. I came out of that conversation–-which naturally covered a ton of ridiculous, insane plot pitches–-with slightly more confidence and a few workable ideas. Also, by addressing the issue at the first opportunity, I didn’t let myself write my way into a corner, and I didn’t put myself in a position where several chapters would have to be heavily redlined or tossed out. Instead, I’m going back in with a game plan.

Have you tried brainstorming your way out of writer’s block?
Kate

*This post originally appeared in September 2016.*

When Life Throws You Lemons, Add Sugar and Whiskey

If you’ve been following the blog over the past year, you’ll know I originally set out to have a rough draft of my debut novel ready for revisions by February 2017.

And then life promptly threw us a few curveballs. I battled a medical issue. We let a foreign student move into our home. Work got stressful.

I kept changing my story setting, and topic, and characters, and genre. Eventually, I had four or five projects going. I lacked focus, to say the least.

That’s when things really got crazy for a few months. When we finally came out the other side, I was no longer a high school mom. I was a kindergarten mom with a houseful of little ones. I had just published my first gourmet cooking column, and now I hardly had time to warm up leftover mac and cheese. None of my kids wanted to eat my fancy food, anyway. My column went on temporary hold, although I’ve maintained the connection well enough to revive it when things calm down.

In the past year, I’ve gone from a childless wife working from home to an exchange parent to a foster mother of three. Yet somehow, I’ve dreaded having to admit failure on this one. I didn’t get that dream project done by my self-imposed deadline. I can’t stand blown deadlines.

What I do have is a handful of miniature beta readers. The children’s market is the fastest-growing segment  of American publishing. While my primary goal of completing a full-length novel that anyone will actually want to read remains unmet for now, my secondary desire–to pursue a publishing deal this year–is still achievable.
To that end, I’ve pulled out an existing project, run it past my tiny critics, revised the story, and begun querying agents. A children’s picture book proposal isn’t exactly the same thing as a full-length manuscript, but it’s a start, anyway.

You know what they say. When life throws you lemons, add sugar and whiskey.

Kate

*This post was originally published in 2017.*

Tap Into Your Inspiration Element to Combat Writer’s Block

Sapphire Pool, Yellowstone National Park. C. Kate Wehr, 2010

The ancients understood the interconnectedness of life through the four elements: earth, stable and physical; air, fluid and mobile; fire, energetic and transformative; and water, flowing and dynamic. Today, we still recognize these elements scientifically (solid, gas, plasma and liquid) as the four states of matter.

The pagan concept of individual elements — sometimes four, sometimes five or more — while certainly nothing new, does tap into a universal truth. Our bodies and our world are made up of these things. As writers, we recognize the soul, that part of humanity that drives us to spend our days attempting to communicate with one another and leave a memorable legacy through our work. One simple method for dealing with writer’s block, then, is to study the relationship between the soul and the classical elements that affect our day-to-day lives. If you’ve been searching for inspiration, study the list below and find the element that speaks most to you. Regardless of your personal spiritual leanings, you’ll at least be doing something different.

Earth

Create yourself a garden space and work in it, every day.

Scatter potted plants around your home.

Walk quietly in the woods or through a meadow or hayfield.

Get a little Zen rock garden for your desk.

Clean. Pick up excess clutter around your house. Scrub your bathroom. Vacuum your floors.

Bake bread. Find a simple yeast recipe and knead the dough.

Build something. Wood and stone are solid and come from the earth, making them especially appropriate media. Try mosaics, carvings, furniture and small woodcrafts.

Air

Go running.

Purchase a stationary bike, rowing machine or elliptical.

Ride a horse or a bicycle.

Stand outside on a breezy day.

Switch on some sort of fan.

Fly kites.

Simmer something on your stove and inhale the aroma.

Adjust your thermostat, adding heat or air-conditioning as the season warrants.

Practice simple breathing exercises. You can make this one part of your morning spiritual routine.

Fire

Light a candle. Better yet, light several and scatter them around the room, just be sure to set them in stable places and snuff them when you leave!

Burn incense or fragrance oils.

Cook dinner on a grill.

Install a fire pit or chiminea in your yard.

Buy a lava lamp.

If you have a fireplace, build a fire in it and keep it going throughout the day.

Play with a woodburning kit.

Work with tools that involve heat, sparks and ovens. Try light metalsmithing or pottery. You could learn to solder, weld or use a grinder disc.

Water

Take a long shower.

Go for a walk in the rain.

Place a portable fountain somewhere in your house.

Soak in your bathtub.

Do laundry.

Watch a thunderstorm.

Make soup or chili and leave it simmering for hours.

Give yourself the spa treatment! A steamy facial or warm foot soak would be good choices.

Hand-wash your dishes.

Pour yourself a glass of water and drink it slowly.

Visit the neighborhood swimming hole.

Stroll a lakeshore or river bank.

What’s your inspiration element? How do you tap into it?

Kate

*This post was originally published in August 2012.*

Top 10 Reasons We Still Need (Human) Writers

Within the last few weeks, a large but relatively obscure media company which shall remain temporarily anonymous has been drawing headlines for laying off an undisclosed number of people.

I was one of them.

We were given no explanation, no warning, no severance. Just a mysterious email from our supervisors dropped into our inboxes over the weekend asking us to call in to discuss “the week ahead.” I guess that’s the corporate idea of breaking things gently.

Before the ax fell, though, projects were underway to revamp the company’s proprietary software and content generation systems. It seems I’ve been replaced by a machine.

Modern technology, combined with offshoring, has made it possible to generate ever-cheaper forms of content to clutter up the Web. Some of the stories in your own newspaper may not even have been written by a real person. We journalists are now literally competing with computer programs. Or so we’re told.

No wonder the job market stinks.

There’s still hope for writers, though. Here, in no specific order, are my top 10 reasons why it’s impossible to fully replace us for the foreseeable future.

1. Emotion. Although an advanced program may be able to simulate emotion, it doesn’t actually possess any depth of feeling. By the way, robots, readers can tell when you’re faking it.

2. Creativity. “Fiction,” Mark Twain reminds us, “is obliged to stick to possibilities.” Your computer could mix a ton of hypothetical situations together in what looks like a creative function, but true creativity comes from considering –and pursuing — the impossible.

3. Voice. Perhaps a writer’s most valuable asset, an author’s voice embodies a perspective unique to that individual, forged by culture, circumstances and life experiences.

4. Clarity. We’ve all seen scads of those junk articles from non-native speakers. The word choices and grammar are so confusing that these pages don’t attract readers for long. If people cannot understand what an article is trying to say, they complain. They don’t link to it and they certainly don’t make an effort to find more stories from that “author.”

5. Sensitivity. When it comes to handling race relations, religion, politics or any other emotionally charged subject, the computer loses. Artificial intelligence cannot even begin to replicate the shared understanding of your fellow human beings.

6. Research. Again, creativity and perspective come into play here. Machines can make predictions and draw conclusions from data provided, but they don’t know how to pursue new information from offline sources.

7. Fact checks. Could you tweak a program to flag suspect numbers, names and other data for accuracy? Sure, but as the techies say, garbage in, garbage out. Software capabilities will be limited to sifting through information given and comparing it to reference databases you provide. If somebody’s name got misspelled by whoever stuck it in that file, too darn bad.

8. Analysis. No matter how many facts you input, the computer cannot generate meaningful, informed  commentary laced with a nuanced historical perspective. Graphs and illustrations, yes, insight, no.

9. Typos and homonyms. Ever missed a semi-colon or gotten words like “form,” “from,” “eliminate” and “illuminate” garbled in your spell-checker? Imagine that on a global scale.

10. Search engines. Duplicate content, irrelevant and nonsensical content, keyword-stuffed content — all of these can get your business dinged by the likes of Google. When it comes right down to it, bad writing doesn’t pay.

Artificial intelligence is increasing rapidly, though, to the point where some scientists think we’ll all just morph into cyborgs someday. Is it only a matter of time before the machines take over once and for all?

Kate

*This post was originally published in August 2012.*

Pitch It to Me

This one’s an oldie but goodie that I originally published online at Freelance Writing Source. Since the site appears to be down now, I thought I’d share it again with you here. 

Sooner or later, nearly every freelance writer will need to produce a written pitch. Perhaps you have a compelling story idea that won’t work for the publications you usually submit to, or maybe you just want to break into a different market or genre. In any case, there are a few simple guidelines you’ll need to follow to maximize your chances of landing a gig.

Cover the basics
Do a little research before trying to sell your article. Not all publications are created equal, nor will everyone be interested in your idea. Take the time to narrow your targets down to one or more blogs, newspapers, magazines, journals or other publications that you can reasonably expect to be interested in the theme or topic you plan to pursue.

Never address your pitch to a generic, unknown audience. Every pitch needs to be sent to a specific editor at a specific publication. Check each publication’s submission guidelines to find out whether e-mail or postal mail queries are preferred. Include your contact information, and be sure you know both the editor’s gender and the proper way to spell that individual’s name. Anything less is unprofessional.

Unless submission guidelines specify otherwise, do not send copies of past work, drafts of the story you’re pitching, research notes or a full manuscript. Editors are busy and don’t like to deal with stacks of unsolicited paper. Selling them on the article is the whole point of your pitch. Your letter has to give them all the information they need to decide whether they want to consider publishing your story. It’s all right, however, to include a stamped envelope addressed to yourself for replies; many magazines actually require this.

Pre-report your story
You have to pitch a viable story, not a general topic. “I would like to write about prison inmates” is a topic. It conveys little to no useful information to the editor who is attempting to evaluate your submission. Worse, it signals that you actually have nothing and are fishing for ideas. From the editor’s perspective, you’ve just eliminated the reason to hire you — you don’t really have a story to sell. Nobody likes a poser.

However, “I have completed a series of exclusive interviews with a condemned inmate who claims to be innocent” might be a story. Then again, it might not. That’s where your advance reporting work comes in. You should know whether you are likely to be able to get the interviews, documents and other data you’ll need to complete a solid draft by deadline. You also have to check whether competing writers or publications have beaten you to your story within the past few months (in some cases, even years). If they have, can you select an approach that will be different enough to be worth publishing anyway? Your editor will definitely check for similar stories, and will be irritated if your pitch proves to be a waste of time.

Give ’em a taste
For journalistic writing, you should work your proposed lede and a nut graf into the beginning of your pitch. Editors want to get a feel for your style. This is where all that pre-reporting comes in handy, since you’ll actually begin writing the introductory portion of your article.

Your lede (pronounced “leed,” but traditionally spelled this way to avoid confusion with printers’ lead type) is the most interesting thing in your story, the “hook” you plan to use to grab your readers’ interest. Put another way, it’s the opening sentence of your proposed piece.  The “nut graf,” typically the third or fourth paragraph you’ll write in organizing your article, explains the point of your story — why it’s newsworthy, and why readers should care.

Sell them on it
Your pitch should be one page, between 250 and 450 words. That’s not a lot of time to sell a complex, detailed article. Get to the point, fast: Tell the editor exactly why your story is going to be relevant to that publication’s readers, and why now is the time to write it.

Include a ‘brag graf’
Never forget, when you’re pitching to a new editor, that in all likelihood the publication doesn’t know who you are and doesn’t care. It’s your job to sell yourself and establish your credentials. Why should you be hired to write this story? If you can’t answer that question quickly and succinctly, you’d better rethink your pitch.

This is the place to add what my journalism professors termed a “brag graf,” a few quick sentences describing your qualifications and past accomplishments. Keep it short and sweet. The information you include here should be relevant to the story you’re pitching. If you want to write about public school teachers, editors like to hear that you come from a family of teachers, have been granted special access to observe a class or recently won an award for education reporting. Telling them all about your old garden column instead will probably prove to be less than impressive.

Wrap it up
Type your letter neatly using a standard font such as Times New Roman in size 10- or 12-point. Check carefully for spelling and typographical errors. If sending e-mail pitches, concentrate on mailing one at a time and personalize it as much as possible — batch submissions can be embarrassing if you get caught!

Not every situation calls for a full-fledged professional pitch. Bloggers who are actively seeking guest posts, for example, will frequently accept a brief note of introduction that mentions one or two ideas targeted to their readers and provides links to past work. Although the blogosphere is culturally less restrictive as a rule, you must still maintain a professional demeanor and deliver original, well researched content in a timely fashion.

It’s quite likely, of course, that you’ll eventually get an opportunity to meet with a potential editor. If you want to do a less formal oral pitch, go for it! The basics of having a pre-reported story and a ready argument in favor of your hire still apply.

If you do thorough research, pitch compelling pieces to targeted markets, and demonstrate an ability to deliver quality work on deadline, you’ll be that much closer to a successful freelance career. Happy pitching!

Kate

*This post was originally guest-blogged for Freelance Writing Source and later republished by the author in August 2012.*

Avoid the Author Pudge!

I call it the “author pudge.” Or the writer pooch, the blogger bulge, the reporter gut.

Whatever you’ve dubbed it, it’s that stubborn five, 10, 20 pounds that creeps onto the front of your waistline, that not-so-welcome physical reminder of too many hours spent stuck in front of the computer screen trying to beat deadline. 

Most of us have been there one way or another, it’s a common enough desk-work complaint. But when you’re working out of a home office with nobody to hold you accountable and no real need to dress like a civilized adult (if you want to skip the shower, work in your underpants and eat ice cream for breakfast, who’s going to notice, anyway?), suddenly that “freshman 15” you battled in college starts to look like a cakewalk compared to the “freelance 30.”

What’s a poor writer to do?

Take breaks
At least every two hours, make sure you get up from that desk (or couch). Instead of eating, try making this chore time. Throw a load of clothes in the wash, vacuum your living room, make your bed. If you have animals or children at home, spend ten minutes playing with them before going back to work.

Get a drink
On those breaks, make sure you top off your coffee, or better yet, pour yourself a glass of water. Drinking something helps control food cravings, and giving yourself a mental break every so often helps you regroup so you can stay more productive.

Go for cardio
At my house, I have to contend with ice in winter and hay fever in the spring and summer. I prefer low-impact exercise and am also not a big fan of sweating in public, so we opted to spend a couple hundred bucks and get a home elliptical machine. It’s bulky and takes up most of my dining room, but it’s awesome. Twenty minutes on that thing is a whole-body workout — abs, arms, legs. I don’t have to pay for a gym membership, but if I do want some outside time, I can always take my dog for a run.

Avoid liquid calories
Sodas, juice, creamy coffee drinks, booze, shakes… so many choices, and all so full of extra calories. If you can do it, try saving the fattening drinks till evening, and stick to water, tea and coffee during the day. I don’t recommend diet sodas because the artificial sweeteners can trigger sugar cravings, but if you must have a soft drink during the day, have one, and make sure it comes in a portion-controlled can, not a Big Gulp.

Watch the snacks
If you’re a natural snacker, don’t worry. I am, too. We’re not talking about skipping snacks, just choosing the right snacks. I do my best to make this easy on myself by keeping healthy choices on hand: nuts, dried fruit, cheese, lunch meat and an assortment of raw dipping vegetables (cucumbers, baby carrots, bell peppers, mushrooms, celery). If you’re getting enough protein, you won’t want to binge on the junk.

Now it’s your turn. How do you combat the pudge?

Kate

*This post was originally published in August 2012.*

Getting Your Financial House in Order

There’s a pumpkin-spiced chill in the air that can only mean one thing: tax season is fast approaching. Photo credit: Randy Heinitz via VisualHunt.com / CC BY

It’s full-blown winter for many of my pals up north already, but here in the Rockies, fall is in full swing. There’s a pumpkin-spiced chill in the air; the leaves are turning; the bears, pronghorns, deer, and elk are out; and all anybody really feels like doing is taking long naps and eating all the food. It’s also the perfect time to take a hard look at the books before the holiday season hits and all the quarterly and year-end filings come due.

As we discussed last time, running your own business, even a tiny home business, necessarily generates a ton of paperwork. A whole lot of that is going to be financial records: receipts, bills, pay stubs, bank ledgers, tax forms, more tax forms, and still more tax forms you probably never knew existed before. If you hire anything out, you’ll enjoy a whole new level of record-keeping that occasionally results in random visits from people who want to inspect all of that stuff to see if you’re doing it wrong.

To that end, it’s a good idea to take stock of your business’ performance by getting your financial records in order a month or two before the year ends. This not only lessens your tax prep workload later but also enables you to determine whether you should make changes to your operations before the tax year closes. You may find that you should be holding additional funds to cover tax bills, or that you need to update your insurance coverage, or that it makes sense to purchase deductible equipment.

Part of this process, if your business is old enough, should involve a tentative year-to-date profit and loss comparison with the previous year, and perhaps the last five or 10 years, if applicable. How does your performance compare overall? Are your numbers on par with past years’? Are you surpassing them? Where do you see the most significant changes? What’s driving those figures?

If you have employees, check to see how your payroll expenses may have changed. How will that impact your tax obligations and insurance costs? Can you afford to give holiday bonuses? What about accrued leave and holiday time?

Keeping things organized and checking up on your P&L stats at regular intervals is generally proper practice, but an in-depth analysis is especially important to complete before the end of the year. Give yourself a little extra time to make changes and plan for additional expenses. You’ll save a lot of headaches later on.

Kate

*This post was originally published in October 2015.*

A Query a Day Keeps the Crazy Away

Book draft done? Check.

Bank account empty? Check.

Want a publishing contract? You bet I do. I need the check!

It’s time to start querying agents, which I’ve been doing all week. If you caught Monday’s post, you already know I’m shopping a children’s picture book around. I can’t draw my way out of a Pictionary box, so of course that means anyone who buys this book is also going to have to get an illustrator involved to help move my stick-figure-impaired behind along.

That’s the bad news. This won’t be a fast process, and I’m not going to get paid tomorrow. Or, as it turns out, the next day or the next day or the next day. I’ve heard it could be years before I see any green stuff. Better not rest on my laurels, such as they are. (Such as they are being my daughter’s excited response to the little plot twist at the end, followed by a not-irrelevant inquiry regarding the addition of still more animals to her imaginary future menagerie.)

The worse news, of course, would be if I didn’t manage to sell it at all. Luckily for me, and other sales-averse, people-averse, poverty-averse writers out there, it turns out that we can hire somebody to do that. Cue rainbows, expensive dancing unicorn coffees, and baskets of puppies.

These magical, glorious people are called literary agents, and they live far, far away in towers guarded by dragons and evil queens who don’t want us to hire them. That’s what I’ve gathered, at least, because they don’t seem to be a talkative bunch, and there’s a gazillion other writers out on ye olde world of the webs confirming that jumping on the next hot author commodity (me, duh) and showering her with champagne and gold and glitter is somehow not the only item on their lengthy to-do lists. It might even–gasp–not be the topmost entry. Say it ain’t so.

Literary agents are mystical beings who live far, far away in towers guarded by dragons and evil queens who don’t want us to hire them.

A fair bit of snooping led me to at least one clue to harnessing their magic, however. It’s called a query. Since there are a kajillion posts already out there on writing query letters, and I’m bored just thinking about it, I don’t feel like writing another one right now. Go here and here and here and you’ll get the idea. Just remember query and

agent and magical unicorn salespeople.

I’m keeping the query process manageable by spacing them out. One a day, two max. That leaves me the rest of my day to write, haha, I mean chase toddlers and beg them to eat their cereal instead of chucking bowls at my dog. More to the point, it gives me opportunities to review and revise my query letter several times a week, increasing the likelihood that I’ll remember to actually target the right person and do this cool thing called “following submission guidelines.”

Happy submitting! I’m off to chase more unicorns.

Kate

*This post was originally published in April 2017.*